Routines, Habits, and Flexibility
It can be annoying hearing about the next trending routine or list of important habits that “we must adopt.” However, routines are undeniably critical for success. Even when someone claims to not use a routine, they still use one — it might just be a routine with more slots available for spontaneity.
This week’s letter is not about my routine or any other person’s specific routine. Instead, I wanted to take a moment to discuss the concept of routines and what happens when we break them.
Last weekend, I shot a wedding in the Santa Cruz redwoods with a heavy Lord of the Rings theme. It was a great wedding day, the couple seemed to be very happy with us, and, in short, the other vendors and I accomplished the mission. This shoot ties in well with this week’s topic because the weather ended up consisting of heavy rain and threw off everyone’s original plan for the day.
While I’ve been slacking on my intended output on YouTube, I’ll be releasing some behind-the-scenes content of this shoot soon. One of the takeaways from last weekend is that proper planning and routines significantly help us when "the plan" falls apart. Despite the heavy rain, my team and I were able to capture beautiful footage because we are extremely comfortable with our gear and had contingencies in place.
Plans can be destroyed by a myriad of different factors in professional settings, and our personal lives can throw us curveballs as well. The injury or illness of a loved one may force us to drop everything, and you’ll equally benefit, in those situations, from routines and habits because you’ll be better prepared. For example, if you’re fit, you’ll be able to quickly carry more things and be in a better mood on less sleep.
An individual I admire once shared on Instagram about the importance of trying to eat well while traveling because our time is limited, and we don’t want to destroy any positive relationship with food while on a road trip (I’m paraphrasing as accurately as I can). Most importantly, he concludes with an emphasis that the very decision to eat well while on the road is a habit.
THIS is how I feel about routines…we are always forming them even when we don’t realize it. If you must stay up late to help a friend or loved one who is in need, and you end up missing your regular wake up time, maybe it’s a sign that your nervous system needed the recovery…or maybe it isn't, and you let yourself down by not getting out of bed and doing that workout you promised yourself ahead of time. Either way, the most relevant question remains the same: “what is the best action and behavior for me to take RIGHT NOW?”
Despite stating that I won’t be sharing my personal routine, I should mention that I have started a new framework of habits and routines that I’ve been refining for years. Over the next few months, I will be putting this framework to the test, and I’ll share it if it proves to be effective.
Rituals, routines, and habits are extremely helpful, in my opinion, but flexibility is key at certain points too.
In case you’re wanting to design a new routine for yourself, here are some general guidelines I’ve found to be important:
1. Create and visualize big goals that scare you, BUT: only make realistic promises to yourself daily and weekly because failing to follow through on promises to yourself damages your self-confidence and identity. Incrementally adjust what you expect from yourself (example: what you consider to be an extremely intense workout at the beginning of your fitness journey may become what you eventually do on a “light recovery day” after consistently exercising for 2-3 months).
2. This one might be controversial, but tying into that first point, keep it simple and not too burdensome. (example: if you want to read for 30 minutes every day, and that doesn’t sound like a lot initially, set your routine minimum for 20 minutes every day because life usually ends up taking more time than we think).
3. Use habit stacking (attaching the new, desired behaviors to preexisting habits) and schedule time for things you personally enjoy while making sure that none of your chosen activities decrease the likelihood of you accomplishing your end goal.
4. Set a date for when the routine will end. If it’s brutal, you’ll know there’s an endpoint and you won’t be “quitting” once you reach it. If it’s great, you can extend the deadline as far as you wish. (Again, this might also be controversial in the eyes of those who say you should adopt a lifestyle and not rigidity, but if you’re pushing yourself, it will get hard, and you’ll eventually benefit from knowing that you’ve made it to the date you set for yourself). If you want to quit, that may be a sign to make some adjustments once you make it to the end date, but don’t quit before the end date.
5. Be specific, relentless, and strict, but also be kind and forgiving to yourself if something that's out of your control interferes. Immediately resume when you have no excuses. Plan and do things early so that true excuses are almost nonexistent.
6. The last guideline I’ll list here is the first and second rule of Fight Club. Don’t talk about it. If you need to tell your partner or roommates about some major diet changes, that’s fine, but stay away from the baseless dopamine hits that come from talking about your new routines before executing on them for a little while. (This is why I’ll share my new framework with you only after I’ve done it for months and it’s truly helped me). There's an argument to be made for "accountability buddies," but I respectfully disagree with the suggestion to start with this. Do at least a few days on your own first — your journey might end with just you (for reasons outside of your control), therefore it should start with just you.
Thanks for reading, until next week!